Like a hungry hungry* caterpillar**, in a cocoon*** the revamped**** re-imagined***** Slug and Lettuce is set to soar gracefully through the night life of Newcastle on  sparkling new wings****** on the 19th of August, unfortunately I will miss the opening because I am washing my hair*******

*if the caterpillar likes microwaved food
** if the caterpillar is a squawking drunk woman
*** if the cocoon is actually a piss- soaked section of carpet off-cut with a drunk lass rolled up in it
**** if you mean revamped is actually a lick of paint and new warning tape
***** if you mean re-imagined  by someone with no imagination
****** wings like on Tena lady pee protection
******* I’m bald and don’t bathe